Non-Jews are for practice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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