Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
