when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
