thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
