mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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