Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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