his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
