the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
