we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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