is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
