So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Enjoy the penises
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