i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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