STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
