He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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