It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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