your room smells of hookers.
And success
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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