yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
