im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
