Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
