Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
