i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
