Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
