yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
