and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
