Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
