Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You left your underwear on the fireplace
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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