that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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