but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
