Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize