i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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