You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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