hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sober January is a disaster.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
