dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
