Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
