I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize