I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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