ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize