I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You are the jesus of drinking
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Terrible idea I love it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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