wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize