im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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