Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
