i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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