I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
