Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
