today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
