i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
