she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
