great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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