There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
