is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
