this beer tastes like vomit already
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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