This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Your cock deserves a montage
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
