Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
