Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
