His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We just shotgunned beers for America
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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