How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
