when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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