We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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