..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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