Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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