I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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