Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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