Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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