hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
