and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
